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Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Sex, God, and the Conservative Church


Sex, God, and the Conservative Church


Download Ebook Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

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Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Review

“Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers’ provocative book addresses the sex-negative doctrine in the conservative Christian church that instills in many people deep shame about their body and discomfort with the opposite sex, making them ill-prepared for marriage. Showing how notions of Christianity and sexuality are complementary, Dr. Sellers offers both therapist and lay reader examples of working with clients to heal the soul-body split, reduce shame, and deepen a couple’s loving connection.”―Stella Resnick, PhD, author, The Heart of Desire: Keys to the Pleasures of Love; couples and sex therapist, private practice, Beverly Hills, CA “This book is powerful medicine for anyone who has ever suffered religious shame about sex.   You will find compassion for your dilemmas of conscience, wisdom regarding the teachings of the church, and best of all―explicit practices for opening your mind, nurturing your heart, touching your body, and celebrating the spirit of all that is truly erotic.”―Gina Ogden, PhD, LMFT, author, Expanding the Practice of Sex Therapy and other books "Masterfully integrating psychology and theology, Sellers gives us a groundbreaking, razor-sharp view into conservative Christian culture and its shame-inducing sexual ethic. As a psychologist, I am impressed by the precision, validity and robustness of her research. As a theologian, I am grateful for the Christian sexual ethic―rooted in justice, mutuality, and an infinitely relational God―that she introduces. As a millennial who grew up in the conservative Christian purity culture that Sellers describes, the practices in this book lit my pathway to greater freedom from shame and more authentic connection to God, myself, and others. I hope therapists and Christian leaders― pastors, parents, and youth workers―will read this insightful book with an open mind."―Christena Cleveland, PhD, Duke Divinity School “This is an enlightening, well-written, and clinically useful book on the problems and potential of conservative Christianity for clients dealing with sexual problems. Tina Sellers is uniquely positioned to make this unique contribution to therapy for a population often misunderstood by clinicians. Whether you’re new to the field or highly experienced, I promise you'll learn a lot.”―William J. Doherty, PhD, professor, director, Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project, University of Minnesota; author, Take Back Your Marriage. “Most clinical programs―whether they are based in psychology or marriage and family therapy, social work or medicine, pastoral counseling, or any number of other fields in the “helping professions”―do not adequately prepare trainees to work with individuals or couples who have been indoctrinated with Church-driven messages of sexual guilt and shame. As a therapist and educator, I have struggled to find resources that help guide clients on a path in healing and growth―and to do this in a way that simultaneously embraces their sexuality(ies) and religious/spiritual faith. The wisdom and counsel that Dr. Tina Sellers offers in this book should be in every training curriculum, on every providers’ bookshelf, and in every couple’s home.”--Tai J. Mendenhall, PhD, LMFT, Couple and Family Therapy Program, The University of Minnesota, Twin Cities "This book is a practical and yet deeply theological path towards healing for those wounded by a shame-based purity culture. Dr. Schermer Sellers researched and written a roadmap towards a sex-positive Gospel ethic of intimacy. I will be recommending it to pastors and counsellors and teachers everywhere.”―Sarah Bessey, author; Jesus Feminist and Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith

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About the Author

Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, as well as a professor of sexuality and medical family therapy in the graduate Family Therapy Department at Seattle Pacific University.

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Product details

Paperback: 202 pages

Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (April 23, 2017)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 9781138674981

ISBN-13: 978-1138674981

ASIN: 1138674982

Product Dimensions:

6 x 0.5 x 9 inches

Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.8 out of 5 stars

47 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#46,392 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Inspiring gems of wisdom for hurting souls damaged by sexual shame are here in abundance.The author clearly describes useful formulas for creating a “sex-positive” gospel meant to transform the damage that survives to this day from centuries of the all-too-prevalent “sex-negative” gospel. The decrees of early Christian leaders, warnings that amounted to sex is dirty and sinful and the road to ruin, have afflicted multitudes too long and in too many ways.The therapist/author asks (and answers) such questions as:“How has Christianity contributed to our culture’s ignorance about eros, sacred sexuality, and the human body?”“How can people heal from years of religious sexual shame and faulty teaching, while still respecting their faith traditions?”“What are actual, intimate sexual practices that couples can share that will build a sex life that is wholly integrated into their spirituality?”Her insights on the history of the early church’s sex-negative messages, based on renouncing the flesh, were enlightening. She analyses the dualism of ancient philosophers in Plato’s era, the belief that the human spirit is separate from the body, as well as the false narrative that the human spirit is superior to the inferior human body.The Apostle Paul and St. Augustine added their own distrust and suspicion of the body’s profane nature, which fueled an atmosphere of silence and shame resulting in sexual condemnation, unprecedented ignorance, profound levels of sexual dysfunction, and pervasive sexual illiteracy.How sad that millions of people have experienced so much sorrow and suffering over the centuries, the very opposite of Jesus’ ministry of compassion, love and justice!I appreciated how the author did not shy away from Eros, the idea that God gifted the world with the vital energy that animates every living thing. Rather than the tawdry meaning we tend to assign to Eros today, as being “pornographic,” Eros instead moves us out of our solitude toward closeness and union with others and brings forth “our passions, our deepest hopes and desires, and our creativity to experience the fullness of life.”That’s good news. The truths that God created humans as erotic beings with sexual desires and designed us to experience pleasure should be shouted from the rooftops. We’re meant to be erotic.The author also addresses the pop culture’s and secular media’s distortions that “the best sex is wild, spontaneous, risky, free, and unattached.” She asks, pointedly, “How can a couple cultivate a sexual relationship that is intimate, erotic, relationally nourishing, rooted in God’s love and mutuality, and bubbling over with pleasure and connection, when the highest virtue is either the church’s call toward sexual suffocation or the culture’s call to unrealistic, untrained sexual abandon?”That’s the bind that traps many and which many frequently struggle to transcend.To wrap up, A) has Tina Schermer Sellers demonstrated clear evidence that it’s time to erase religious sexual shame from sexual intimacy? And B), has she provided ample ways and useful therapeutic models of behavior and fresh attitudes for us to become the lovers God intended us to be? My answer, “Yes” to both!

I don't review books often but the healing I experienced through Dr. Sellers' text was so profound that I felt a pressing need to share. This book was easily the most transformative and impactful one I read from my summer pleasure reading. It's a cliche but I honestly couldn't put the book down after receiving it in the mail. Dr. Sellers does the massive leg-work of contextualizing sexual shame within the church and the consequent sexual philosophy of American consumerism. Sellers constructs a frame for a sex-positive gospel as a response to both previously mentioned unhealthy views of sexuality that dispels a lot of myth and reconnects you to a crucial component of your identity as a sexual being. Sellers worked tirelessly to provide an ACCESSIBLE resource for the layperson as well as the professional therapist and it shows remarkably well. I cannot speak highly enough about this text; it's a voice that's been ignored, oppressed, and forgotten by the church community. Truly a blessing. Essential reading for personhood.

Sexual happiness in long-term committed relationships is a gift or an art, depending on how you look at it. Some couples "get it" naturally; others have to search for it. This search may be especially complicated for people raised in sex-negative religious cultures. The author is a sex therapist who teaches sexuality at a Christian college. Some time around the year 2000, she noticed that many young people in her class seemed to have been traumatized by growing up in the highly sex-negative "Purity Culture" of the previous decade. She decided to find out more about how and why Christianity ever became sex-negative in the first place. In the process, she discovered some extremely helpful tools for individuals and couples struggling with sex-negativity from their religious upbringing. This book is essential reading for anyone raised in a sex-negative household. But there's something more: There is a spirit of love in this book. You don't just read about it, you feel it. Reading the last chapter, I felt something move inside me. This is not easy to say, but in some mysterious way I felt loved -- and eager to share that love with my wife and family. I cannot think of any higher praise for a book.

I am incredibly grateful for Seller’s courageous voice speaking out for those who have been harmed by a repressive sexual ethic that has pervaded some parts of the Christian church. Seller’s intent is to uncover a hidden sex-positive story within the Judeo-Christian tradition, and she does this masterfully by weaving together ancient Hebrew teachings and practices that honored sexuality as sacred and central alongside Jesus’s life example of love, justice, and healing. In doing so, Sellers offers Christians a way to have both their faith tradition and a vibrant sexuality centered on connection, pleasure, desire and justice rather than do’s and don’ts. This book would be an excellent resource for therapists desiring to gain cultural knowledge of “conservative Christianity” in order to work effectively with clients who have experienced religious sexual shame/harm from an environment that focused too much on controlling unsanctioned (unmarried) sexual desire/behavior and too little on the goodness, creativity, beauty, connection, and pleasure that is possible for us as embodied, sexual, spiritual beings. This book would also be a wonderful resource for an individual or study group who would like to explore these topics on their own. Sellers finally inspires me with her reminder that, in order to live a life infused with connection and pleasure, we must sometimes intentionally choose a slower, more nourishing pace. Sellers’ words and wisdom bring me to that still, deep place at the center of God’s heart where there are no boundaries between that which is deeply sacred and that which is deeply erotic.

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